10k.... errrr....no

In order to make sure that I don't start in the last corral at the Disney races, (gotta stay away from the scary balloon ladies I keep hearing about), I decided to do a 10k to get a proof time. It seems to be pretty slim pickings for 10ks in my area, so when I found one for today called "Girls on the run 10k", I signed up. The race was a 5k loop around a lake that we would have to do two times. It seemed innocent enough....right? Oh & did I mention that this was the first race I have ever done?!?!
For the last 2 days I kept my eye on the weather. The temp had been pretty mild lately, but of course, the day I decide to run 6.2 miles in my FIRST.RACE.EVER it decides to reach over 80 degrees at 9am in the morning.  Last night I started to psych myself out about the weather, which is a baaaad thing to do!
This morning, we got to the race and had to walk about a mile just to get to the start line, which meant we were sweating before we even started. We chatted with a fellow racer at the starting line and jokingly said that maybe we'd take the easy way out and stop after 5k instead of doing the full 10k.
At 8:59, we were all itching to get started and soon enough we were counting down from 10 and then "GO!" and we were off. I was flying faster than I've ever ran before, I finished the first mile at my fast mile ever to date - 9:26.  My running stratedgy (at this point) is 10:1 intervals (that's running 10 mins, walking 1 min and repeat). So soon after mile 1 ended, I started my one minute walking break and that's where I lost it. The heat just got to me and well, 60 seconds goes by way too fast... and then it turned into 90 seconds... and then 120 seconds and I still hadn't started running again. One more minute, I told myself, and I would start running again. Oh & did I mention we had hit a hilly patch? up & down and up & down. So finally, after walking for 3 or 4 minutes, I started running again. But that was short lived, I only made it a couple of long, agonizing, hot, up hill minutes before stopping again. I had set a goal in my head to finish this race in 68 minutes, but that goal was quickly slipping out of reach.  I continued on with my horrible run/walk intervals until we reached the 5k/10k split. It was now or never - do I give up or push on?? My mom, who is 49 years old, was also running the race with me. She was struggling just as much as I was but there she was... headed down the lane towards her second loop of the race. So what was it, did I quit or keep going?
I must have been desperate or delierious or both because I opted to quit. I headed into the finish line chute and crossed at 36:56. I should have been happy right? WRONG! The second I crossed the finish line, I felt extremely guilty, upset & disappointed in myself.  But it was over, there was nothing I could do about it, but never let that happen next time.

Overall, I will say that it was a good experience to have. After all this was my FIRST.RACE.EVER. I know I made a few mistakes psyching myself out the day before, not pacing myself correctly from the start.... I feel like I set myself up for failure.

Here's a pic of me & my mom before the start of the race



I don't have an after pic, of us, but here I am sporting my first race t-shirt and hanging out with my daughter later that day