Don't mess with the bitch or you might get burned

I am so sick & tired of dealing with incompetent,miserable store clerks. If you hate your job that much... quit!! But don't be miserable on my time. You pissed off the wrong bitch... your corporate office if getting an earful from me... your ass is grass!!!

MIA

Sorry I've been so MIA lately. I am currently starting up a crafting business. I already have my first craft fair booked for Nov. 28th so I have been devoting all my free time to making stuff to sell at the fair!
For more info, check out my page at:
3 Lil' Monkeys Creations

A whole new meaning...

 I was so cold last night that my teeth were chattering (litterally) and since I wear a night guard, they were chattering against my night guard & it made this clicking sound that sounded like morse code! Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "talking in your sleep"

Why is it so hard?

Sometimes I ask myself why do I bother busting my butt to lose weight, especially with 3 kids... it's so hard & consumes so much of my time... some days I feel like just giving up (usually after a bad week). I could be using the time & energy spent on trying to lose weight and focus that on my kids.
But I know if I did that, I would never be completely happy with myself. I hate the way I look. I hate being fat. So instead I keep trudging along, no matter how many times I fall in shit, I have to brush myself off and keep going.
Why is losing weight so hard for me? Others make it look so easy. My body just sucks. It's broken =(

Stuffed like a turkey

Last Saturday my family had a party for my aunt's 40th birthday. I knew I was going to eat bad & it was a planned thing. Since I had been good for a few weeks, I let myself splurge a little (ok, a lot!) and then of course I felt guilty afterwards. I worked my butt off this week in order to undo some of the damage, but then today, 1 day before my weigh in, I went and got Chinese food for lunch. I was like a woman possessed... I couldn't stop myself. I stuffed myself to the point that I was so sick to my stomach that I wanted to throw up. I felt like a stuffed turkey on Thanksgiving day. I feel soooo sick & soooo guilty. Ug, why do I do this?
I can only imagine what the scale will say tomorrow. I think I will take a freebie this week & not weigh in.
I'm starting over (again... for the zillionth time) tomorrow. I keep telling myself that this is a lifelong commitment & some weeks I'm going to struggle and fall off the wagon, but when I fall off, I fall off hard and then it takes weeks to get back on track.
I am so close to the 200 pound mark, I want to be there now! I just want to say goodbye to the 200's once and for all. 

What comes next?

I have been extremely off track this week. Sick kids, lazy me, broken treadmill, it's just excuse after excuse. My treadmill is now fixed (I think) so I could have exercised today, but I just didn't want to. So instead of pushing myself to do it, I let myself get away with being lazy for another day... with the promise that on Saturday I will get back into my routine.
We are eating out for my aunt's 40th birthday on Saturday & I know that is going to be a train wreck so I plan to run that morning. I will probably start off with 25 minutes of running to ease myself back into the swing of things. Then on Sunday I will do 28 minutes of running. Then on Tues & Thursday I will see if I can run 30 minutes (because that is what I was supposed to run this week).  If I can successfully run 30 minutes that means I graduated from the C25K! Yay!
So what comes next?  I guess I just continue to run 30 minutes and when I feel like running longer, I will. I also need to start incorporating The FIRM videos at least 2 times a week. I need the toning.
People have been complimenting me on my weight loss. It feels good, but I'm not a person that takes compliments easy... I'm way too hard on myself and when people say "you look good", I'm thinking "yeah, but my ass is still too big", etc. I'm always thinking the worst about myself. I wish I could take a compliment and not think about the negative, but I just can't. I'm my own worst critic. 

Loser!

I lost 2.6 pounds this week. You'd think that would give me motivation to continue exercising hard, but I am feeling completely unmotivated & lazy today. It could be because aunt flow showed up this morning, so I'm letting myself get away with it for today.
Normally after a big loss, I tend to celebrate with food & ruin my week, but I didn't do that yesterday. I wanted to, but I talked myself out of it. If I want to keep losing consistantly, then I have to stop celebrating with calories. So I was proud of myself for that.
But today I woke up feeling extremely unmotivated.  I think I'm feeling a little burnt out from pushing myself so hard these past few weeks, maybe I deserve a break?  I was supposed to run 30 minutes today but I just didn't feel like it. So instead, I tried to make myself do some aerobics and that only lasted 20 minutes & I didn't even break a sweat, so I'm not really counting that as exercise. So I'm feeling like a LOSER right now, and not in a good way, either!
I'm going to try to make myself run later tonight or maybe tomorrow (which is not supposed to be my exercise day).
Right now I just want to lay on the couch all day & be lazy!